Hmmm...my big problem...

So...I have this problem. Every time I meet a nice, good guy and we hit it off and I like him and then I go on a date with him...I start pushing him away. I don't fully understand why. I mean, am I afraid? What is there to be afraid of? Actually being with a decent person? I think that would be a feat! I don't know. This has happened a couple times within the last month. This one guy that I liked from high school asked me out and I was super stoked..and then I started thinking about how he was so amazing...and I seriously considered cancelling my date! What the--!!! Why would I even consider that?! So we went on the date and had a ton of fun...and then never talked since. Well, I'm ok with that. Should I be ok with it? Sure. He was amazing, but not for me. Ok, that's cool. Why not. Anyway, so over the last couple of weeks I met another guy, who is totally sweet and funny and has the same interests as me...and I started getting a lil bit of a crush on him...and then he asked me on a date! And I was so excited!!! And then I was afraid that it was going to make things awkward...so I got nervous...but then we had a great conversation on the phone, which made me not worry about that so much. However...as the date got closer, I started seriously considering cancelling. Very seriously. And I kind of thought about ditching...and that worries me. We ended up having a ton of fun, as anticipated, and we're still friends...but, I don't know. I'm trying to figure out what I want. I've been saying that I don't want a guy right now; I just want to concentrate on school and work and army stuff, but I think every girl wants a relationship, deep down inside. Well, anyway, so I found this amazing guy, and he asked me on a date, and we had fun, and we're friends...and I should totally be falling for him. But I'm kinda not. And I don't know if it's because we just don't have chemistry like that, or if it's because I'm doing that thing where I just harden my heart so that I don't get hurt and so I can just push them away, while trying to maintain friendship. If he continues to show interest, then I'll go along with it, because from what I've seen, he'd be really good for me and he's the kind of guy I need. Shoot. I just shouldn't worry about it. I worry too much. However, I think this is definitely a topic that I should watch out for, because if I don't stop soon, then I could miss out on an outstanding opportunity. I don't want to do that. At all. So it's something I'm going to work on, but as for now...I'll probably just try to go with the flow and not be pushy in any way...which can be kinda hard for me, I'll admit!