Bowl of Oranges

My favorite song is Bowl of Oranges, by Bright Eyes, because it tells me that I just need to be positive. And I just need to be positive.

The College Life

Wow. I've been so busy lately, but I suppose that's only because I've wanted to be busy, because I didn't want to be busy today, and consequently I haven't been busy today. Well, I started school last week. I've had a bunch of homework. I haven't done a considerable amount of the reading for each of the classes, but I feel confident that I'm staying mainly caught up. I bet my laundry is done. I should check on it. Oh well, I can do that later. I feel so tired. We stayed up way late last night. Yesterday was so incredibly busy; we had regional conference, a fireside, supposed to have a bishop's interview, hall meeting, and then tunnel singing. Tunnel singing was fun. Man, I feel kinda mixed up about boys right now. It may be because I'm tired and it's my time of the month--that can have a huge impact on feelings. I don't know what we're doing for family home evening. I don't know if anyone knows. Oh well. Yeah, back to the boys, though...I think I kinda like a guy, but I don't want to like him. Mary has a picture with flowers on it and it says stuff like "Love as though you have never been hurt before." I think I'm having a very difficult time doing that, because I, of course, have been hurt way too many times before. I mean, it's good experience-wise, but...it kinda puts a damper on wanting to like someone. I just feel like any relationship I have with a boy right now will just lead to pain. Emotional pain is the worse. I would prefer physical pain over emotional pain any day. I've had the emotional pain that you can't help but completely sob over, trying to get the pain out, but nothing else--and then you feel like you're suffocating both on the inside and on the outside. It hurts. At those moments I would rather have had my leg cut off then go through that. I suppose I understand why emo kids cut, but...it's still stupid. Anyway, ballet started today. I'm pretty stoked for it! I learned plies and skipping and a kick, oh yes, and eleves, releves, and saltes. Yay!!! Cute romantic songs keep coming on the radio, which I love, but then they make me want to fall in love, but than i feel like the guy that I fall for won't fall for me back. That's what typically happens. Oh well. Man, I haven't even done my homework yet. haha and I need to clean my room, too!!! It's incredibly messy!!! I should figure out what my roomies are doing. I don't want them to leave to FHE without me.