New Bike!

I got a bike today! It was pretty exhilarating, except on the ride home I remembered how terrified I really am of riding a bike! I don't know why, but I'm not a very good bike rider, and perhaps that's why I'm afraid of riding bikes! It probably stems from me riding a bike years ago and not being able to turn corners, but instead falling over, in front of cars! My back brake isn't too good, so I think I'll see if someone can help me fix that. I obviously have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to bikes. I wonder if Andy would be able to tighten it. My guess is that it's loose, but as I have no knowledge of anything mechanical, someone else will have to look at it. Anyway, I'm thinking about riding it over to Rach's house, but I suck at riding bikes! It's pretty much all straight, though, so I don't have to worry about turning. However, there is a big hill, which means that I have to press my brakes, which suck, and then ride back up it, of course, I could just walk my bike up. I wonder how long it would take. I guess the only way to find out is to try it! Hmmm...so Andy is going up to Idaho this weekend! I kinda miss him. I don't want to, but I do. I still wonder why I like him. I don't know. He's genuinely a good guy, though. Even if he goes bunny bashing. Which I think is completely disgusting and terrible, on principle. Gee, I don't know. Alex is working swing shifts, so I never get to talk to him, either! It's ridiculous! Shoot. He's a good friend. Oh man, I can't wait to hang out with Rach! She's so cool! Ugh, I want some ice cream or cookie dough...something!!! Hotdogs just don't fill voids! The trek is next week, which means that I really need to start looking for long sleeve shirts and whatever else I need for it. I'm kind of impartial to going, right now. I know I'll have a ton of fun when I go, but right now, I'm really not that excited. Blah. Blahness. Oh well. I think I'll leave at 5 to go to Rach's house. hee hee...she'll be surprised! I could just spend the night at her house. My family went camping, otherwise I'd probably just get a ride or not worry about going. I work at 11:30 tomorrow, so I would have time to ride back and shower and everything. That would be fun. Rach and I could talk for hours. Dooo doo dooo dooo doo...I'm done.

Masks

As I paint this mask
I contemplate.
Of my work I am proud;
Of the symbol, I ain’t.

Helping others to hide
Behind ceramic and paint--
Losing their souls
Without a complaint.

Blending in with each other,
Indeed is their goal;
Individuality they fear,
Is as black as coal.

They try to dig themselves out,
But dig down too deep,
For the hole that they dig
Buries them ‘till they sleep.

And they cannot awaken
From this dreadful slumber
Because they all fell asleep
Together, in one number.


For some reason, as I began to type, the words of The Danger of Masks came to my mind. I wrote this poem during the first semester of my senior year. I really do like it, though. My cousin Mary bought me the game "True Colors" for either Christmas or my birthday, I don't really remember which one it was, when I was 16. She wanted me to remember to act the way that I really am inside. She wanted me to be myself and not wear a mask. That was probably some of the best advice that I've had. I've often reflected on her wisdom. However, it can be difficult to be true to oneself. There is constant pressure to join in with others, or act a different way to please someone. However, I know that if I can't be myself around someone, then they aren't the type of person that I should hang around. One of the more difficult things about this is that I'm pretty versatile. However, I suppose I'm not versatile enough to completely change myself to adapt myself to others' standards. "Naught can endure but mutability"--Percy Byshe Shelly.