Confusion

I don't exactly understand RMs. I mean really, why would somebody want to get married when they're financially unstable, and have not even finished a chunk of college? It makes no sense. Well, ok, I do understand why someone would want to get married, I mean, I want to get married, but I'm not dumb enough to put everything else aside so that I can get married, that's just plain foolish. It's even more foolish to not date someone because they're not ready to get married. You don't even know if it's going to work with that person! Just give them a chance. Don't be a bonehead. What would make someone think that they could find someone better--someone who they got along with better that would marry them right off? Well, I guess in Utah it's possible, especially at the Y...even though I haven't seen a ton of evidence pointing to that possibility. I mean, I've barely been on any dates. Maybe I'm just not dateable or something. I don't know. It's ridiculous. But seriously guys, just give me a chance! I'm not terrible. I'm actually pretty cool. Blah, whatev. No one should be reading this anyway. I got a questionnaire thing that I have to fill out for the Study Abroad. I'm a little nervous, but I love Spanish. I am so excited to be immersed in it. You know what, I deserve better than him. I deserve someone that will support me and be excited for me and somebody that I can hold a continous conversation with, and someone that will, when he's around me, just pay attention to me. With exceptions. I mean, if he's working or trying to do something, I understand, but when I talk, I expect immediate feedback...haha I'm so high maintenance...but not really. If I know I'm his and he's mine, that I'm actually medium on the maintenance scale. I learned that from Steve..not that I was, but that I could be and should be. That was probably one of the greatest things I learned about that relationship--how to give him space. However, I'm typically super impatient, which means that I will call the guy and ask him on a date, or whatever. I realized last night that I initiated everything with Steve, and that I was initiating everything with Andy, too. bummer. Maybe I'll find a guy that will initiate things with me. haha, I should! Anyway, I gotta go...hasta luego!